








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 42% |
| Smokes | 728 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 320 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 973 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $555,547 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hashtag | 72% | 75 |
| #2 | Charlie | 71% | 68 |
| #3 | Narky | 69% | 104 |
| #4 | S1lent | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Chikapu | 65% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Narky | +4.43 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Hashtag | +2.78 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Paddington | +1.95 | 48 | 46 |
| #4 | AlexstraszngleMePlease | +1.88 | 37 | 69 |
| #5 | Duck McScrooge | +1.70 | 68 | 51 |





