








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 769 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1123 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1286 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1435 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,434 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rikast | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Horigrim | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Cryp3r | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Loxaa | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Biche | 55% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biche | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Lilith | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Frere Gouny | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | M a c | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | FéliFinduh | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biche | 124 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | rikast | 102 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Horigrim | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yùgz | 74 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lilith | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loxaa | +4.85 | 92 | 46 |
| #2 | Cryp3r | +1.94 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | rikast | +1.83 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | Lilith | +1.36 | 61 | 58 |
| #5 | 1Z_ | +1.26 | 79 | 62 |





