








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2038 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1550 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 844 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,850 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rz | Qusin | 18 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | g0ldenSlay3r | 16 | 0.0222 |
| #3 | Levin | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Hüttenhuppi | 10 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | Matthias Ginter | 7 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hüttenhuppi | 197 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Rz | Qusin | 192 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lalob | 154 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Matthias Ginter | 141 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Levin | 130 | 0.10 | 2 min |





