








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4093 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4051 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3372 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2512 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,316,122 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Christian Lindner | 45% | 108 |
| #10 | Walther Wenck | 45% | 118 |
| #11 | Matthias Ginter | 44% | 284 |
| #12 | Hüttenhuppi | 43% | 168 |
| #13 | Cacau | 27% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levin | 44 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Matthias Ginter | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | g0ldenSlay3r | 23 | 0.0174 |
| #4 | Hüttenhuppi | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Rz | Qusin | 17 | 0.0073 |





