










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3364 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3288 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3342 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2205 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,703,301 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cola Coca | 52% | 179 |
| #5 | riley | 50% | 170 |
| #6 | tempt | 49% | 437 |
| #7 | plug | 47% | 372 |
| #8 | Steak Quesorito | 42% | 329 |





