








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 592 | 23% |
| Smokes | 262 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1104 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 644 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,015 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | Dark | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Goofy | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | bizx | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | Dark | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Goofy | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | bizx | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goofy | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Spooky | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goofy | 170 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Spooky | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dark | 21 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | bizx | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goofy | +7.28 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Spooky | +1.56 | 56 | 61 |
| #3 | Dark | -0.55 | 42 | 49 |
| #4 | Snowgoon | -0.67 | 52 | 47 |
| #5 | bizx | -5.65 | 31 | 27 |





