








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3851 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3244 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2311 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3008 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $957,390 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spooky | 63% | 91 |
| #2 | Dark | 62% | 99 |
| #3 | Snowgoon | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | 𝕊𝕂𝕌𝕃 ☠ | 55% | 99 |
| #5 | ★ Vulgar | 54% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Vulgar | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Spooky | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Spacy | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | 𝕊𝕂𝕌𝕃 ☠ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Dark | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕊𝕂𝕌𝕃 ☠ | 335 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | ★ Vulgar | 248 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dark | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Spacy | 115 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |





