










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 714 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1373 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2132 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 982 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,420 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lazer0 | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Kopflos93 | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Iggi | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | aQ | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | ANÐY | 57% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Philthyphil | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | ﮖתּдҳҲі | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | Bane | 41% | 63 |
| #13 | Schrotpanda | 40% | 20 |
| #14 | Mr. Toast | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﮖתּдҳҲі | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Tesla | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Bane | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ANÐY | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Hawk <- Walking Decoy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tesla | 251 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | NIKA | 178 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | ANÐY | 170 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bane | 153 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hawk <- Walking Decoy | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iggi | +4.13 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Lazer0 | +3.35 | 72 | 73 |
| #3 | aQ | +3.05 | 66 | 77 |
| #4 | ANÐY | +2.43 | 61 | 78 |
| #5 | Philthyphil | +2.30 | 70 | 67 |





