








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1600 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 903 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1712 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,915 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Need More Practice | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | L1zo3 | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | ጿኈቼዽጿኈቼዽAnyway | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | 八奈見杏菜 | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | Arfaria (*・ω・)✄ ひ | 54% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | No Fear In My Heart | 54% | 110 |
| #7 | しろがね けい | 48% | 50 |
| #8 | SLT2k | 45% | 78 |
| #9 | PokerFace | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | 千早 愛音 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLT2k | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | 八奈見杏菜 | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Arfaria (*・ω・)✄ ひ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | No Fear In My Heart | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | ጿኈቼዽጿኈቼዽAnyway | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arfaria (*・ω・)✄ ひ | 313 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | No Fear In My Heart | 271 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | SLT2k | 192 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | しろがね けい | 173 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | ጿኈቼዽጿኈቼዽAnyway | 111 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Fear In My Heart | +4.16 | 92 | 61 |
| #2 | SLT2k | +1.31 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | Need More Practice | +0.73 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | ጿኈቼዽጿኈቼዽAnyway | +0.12 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | PokerFace | -0.04 | 83 | 59 |





