








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 760 | 30% |
| Smokes | 685 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 623 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 498 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,261 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | julmEzhA=DDD! | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | DIMZEY | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | dige | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | kNSTA | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Defense | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | zEk | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | sienikoira | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | ☆ blanzajero | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | mikke | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | Keijo | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defense | 98 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | DIMZEY | 41 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | mikke | 41 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | kNSTA | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | dige | 24 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | julmEzhA=DDD! | +3.09 | 77 | 82 |
| #2 | ☆ blanzajero | +1.83 | 61 | 82 |
| #3 | dige | +1.45 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | Defense | +1.34 | 72 | 75 |
| #5 | kNSTA | +0.83 | 96 | 55 |





