








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 739 | 32% |
| Smokes | 535 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 442 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,105 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o1 | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Apfelele | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Paul_OG | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | 1_HAND_WONDER | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | vic | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SEV | 60% | 5 |
| #8 | Phobos | 60% | 5 |
| #9 | Gopnikmeister | 60% | 10 |
| #10 | Chuliganke | 60% | 10 |
| #11 | flairyee | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flairyee | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Chuliganke | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | o1 | 1 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Phobos | 1 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | Apfelele | 1 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o1 | 21 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | flairyee | 19 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | SEV | 18 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | Apfelele | 13 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gopnikmeister | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEV | +6.19 | 73 | 77 |
| #2 | Gopnikmeister | +3.57 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | curly | +1.24 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | Vaez | +0.60 | 21 | 47 |
| #5 | 1_HAND_WONDER | +0.56 | 85 | 75 |





