








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 238 | 8% |
| Smokes | 671 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1091 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 898 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,180 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YourWaifuIsTrash | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Emoter | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Dwaaskaak | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | Reenzer™ | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Statch | 22 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | V_JUR | 10 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Dwaaskaak | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | YourWaifuIsTrash | 5 | 0.0236 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Statch | 212 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 132 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dwaaskaak | 124 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jiri11 | 69 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | V_JUR | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YourWaifuIsTrash | +6.77 | 93 | 68 |
| #2 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | +5.10 | 90 | 76 |
| #3 | Reenzer™ | +3.14 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Statch | +2.93 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | V_JUR | +1.40 | 67 | 63 |





