








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1024 | 8% |
| Smokes | 4791 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 4754 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1796 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,520 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeFraud | 53% | 218 |
| #2 | Russell | 49% | 107 |
| #3 | crauf619 | 47% | 309 |
| #4 | pusaBEANS FOUND | 47% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeFraud | 53% | 218 |
| #2 | Russell | 49% | 107 |
| #3 | crauf619 | 47% | 309 |
| #4 | pusaBEANS FOUND | 47% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeFraud | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | crauf619 | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Russell | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | pusaBEANS FOUND | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pusaBEANS FOUND | 265 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | crauf619 | 81 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| #3 | LeFraud | 76 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Russell | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Russell | +3.58 | 93 | 7 |
| #2 | You Just Got Litt Up | +2.24 | 84 | 49 |
| #3 | LeFraud | +1.65 | 64 | 44 |
| #4 | pusaBEANS FOUND | +0.29 | 59 | 44 |
| #5 | crauf619 | -4.43 | 36 | 25 |





