








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 983 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2755 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2182 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2125 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,274 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taking-Lives | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | benny space guy | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | nxn | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | irv | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | busE | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taking-Lives | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | benny space guy | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | nxn | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | irv | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | busE | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taking-Lives | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | benny space guy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | busE | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | irv | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taking-Lives | 133 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | benny space guy | 60 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | nxn | 47 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | busE | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | irv | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blynk | +1.69 | 63 | 64 |
| #2 | Taking-Lives | +1.13 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | nxn | -0.07 | 83 | 79 |
| #4 | irv | -0.62 | 79 | 43 |
| #5 | benny space guy | -1.02 | 58 | 51 |





