








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1737 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1221 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1545 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,589 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masley | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | TIMPS | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Jaba | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Turpajunkkeri 2000 | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | ♠ AnY | 55% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JnY | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Kantsun Kauhukilleri | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Kananpoika Junior | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ♠ AnY | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | rinq | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JnY | 1172 | 0.35 | 37 min |
| #2 | Kantsun Kauhukilleri | 472 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | ♠ AnY | 210 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lenni | 197 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kananpoika Junior | 155 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♠ AnY | +2.20 | 65 | 72 |
| #2 | JnY | +1.56 | 60 | 81 |
| #3 | Turpajunkkeri 2000 | +0.74 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | TIMPS | +0.73 | 59 | 76 |
| #5 | Jaba | +0.09 | 61 | 56 |





