








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 174 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 741 | 19% |
| Smokes | 817 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1373 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $792,114 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1822 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiyva | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | 100W Discoball | 51% | 145 |
| #3 | Monster no homo | 46% | 72 |
| #4 | okiM | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiyva | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | 100W Discoball | 51% | 145 |
| #3 | Monster no homo | 46% | 72 |
| #4 | okiM | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monster no homo | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | 100W Discoball | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | okiM | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | kiyva | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 100W Discoball | 193 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Monster no homo | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | okiM | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | kiyva | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 100W Discoball | +2.52 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | nEz | +1.94 | 77 | 48 |
| #3 | Monster no homo | +0.54 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | kiyva | +0.15 | 89 | 41 |
| #5 | okiM | -4.17 | 37 | 31 |





