










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 137 | 11% |
| Smokes | 277 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 728 | 57% |
| Molotovs | 134 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,282 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iSURVIVEDABORTION | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | JRUE Holiday | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | WiZ | 67% | 39 |
| #4 | BobegnopZ (new mouse) | 55% | 76 |
| #5 | tikki | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | tikki | 55% | 33 |
| #6 | Luehrzy | 54% | 39 |
| #7 | ÆoriX | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | Beefjuurky | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | E man | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beefjuurky | 6 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | BobegnopZ (new mouse) | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Luehrzy | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | WiZ | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ÆoriX | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WiZ | 119 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | BobegnopZ (new mouse) | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Luehrzy | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ÆoriX | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | tikki | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iSURVIVEDABORTION | +5.06 | 54 | 30 |
| #2 | Luehrzy | +3.89 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | WiZ | +2.38 | 50 | 46 |
| #4 | tikki | +1.73 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | Beefjuurky | +1.51 | 83 | 24 |





