








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 255 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3007 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3955 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2237 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2996 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,083,919 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juho | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | DOGFATHER | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | snaze | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | matku | 58% | 64 |
| #5 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | 55% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | tenkkub | 53% | 74 |
| #9 | kurwaraider | 52% | 275 |
| #10 | rasane =)) | 51% | 41 |
| #11 | Sturm1 | 50% | 18 |
| #12 | Monnijonni | 45% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwaraider | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | rAAT0VANKKURi | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | tenkkub | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | matku | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rAAT0VANKKURi | 1074 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #2 | kurwaraider | 940 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #3 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | 620 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #4 | matku | 262 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | tenkkub | 144 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasane =)) | +3.16 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | juho | +2.36 | 80 | 77 |
| #3 | tenkkub | +1.01 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | Sturm1 | +0.97 | 50 | 58 |
| #5 | rAAT0VANKKURi | +0.91 | 82 | 82 |





