








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1177 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2208 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1933 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1310 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,748 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0iS0N0uS | 92% | 13 |
| #2 | nerd | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | WeeWOoWeEwOp | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | yoyo506 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | ✪m1 | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaige | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | 555 gwei | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | nerd | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0iS0N0uS | +4.79 | 92 | 41 |
| #2 | ✪m1 | +4.75 | 92 | 48 |
| #3 | psycho | +0.81 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | nerd | +0.44 | 86 | 54 |
| #5 | WeeWOoWeEwOp | +0.28 | 80 | 41 |





