








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Wingman | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4811 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3038 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3154 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1827 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,569 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kikmenow | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | BonsaiCat_ | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | k1neticz | 53% | 223 |
| #4 | NANI2 | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kikmenow | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | BonsaiCat_ | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | k1neticz | 53% | 223 |
| #4 | NANI2 | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1neticz | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | kikmenow | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | NANI2 | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1neticz | 551 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | kikmenow | 179 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | NANI2 | 152 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #4 | BonsaiCat_ | 119 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1neticz | +1.65 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | kikmenow | +1.48 | 60 | 57 |
| #3 | Skiffers | +0.81 | 52 | 59 |
| #4 | BonsaiCat_ | +0.03 | 61 | 43 |
| #5 | NANI2 | -0.81 | 38 | 76 |





