








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2048 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3074 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2271 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3537 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,613,659 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majix88 | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Dave | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 54% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majix88 | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Dave | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 54% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Majix88 | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Dave | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | 368 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Majix88 | 91 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dave | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niiiiiiE(`~`◐\/⊊|<E`-'b)/ | +1.35 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | Trained Ricefield Farmer | +0.84 | 55 | 67 |
| #3 | Dave | +0.19 | 43 | 63 |
| #4 | Majix88 | -1.39 | 56 | 67 |





