








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 604 | 50% |
| Smokes | 178 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 176 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,727 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splinterbandit.gg | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | ⑬𓋹♛Øzzy | 41% | 27 |
| #3 | Joe Barbaro | 40% | 72 |
| #4 | fluffy the vampire slayer | 38% | 146 |
| #5 | 🗡⚔ Ã ï¼ â˜¸ R à ⚔🗡 | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splinterbandit.gg | +5.44 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | ⑬𓋹♛Øzzy | +2.35 | 53 | 63 |
| #3 | Joe Barbaro | +1.52 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | fluffy the vampire slayer | +1.02 | 21 | 23 |
| #5 | 🗡⚔ Ã ï¼ â˜¸ R à ⚔🗡 | -0.88 | 52 | 72 |





