








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 574 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1121 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 757 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1235 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,956 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kaboomski ツ | 36% | 64 |
| #10 | Seahawk | 36% | 59 |
| #11 | Daniel Düsenglied | 34% | 73 |
| #12 | Gazo ♞ | 30% | 23 |
| #13 | ANDO | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sama | 21 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Cornylishes | 13 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | Daniel Düsenglied | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Cowboy Kent Rollins | 9 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Seahawk | 8 | 0.0071 |





