








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 478 | 17% |
| Smokes | 527 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 987 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,182 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kooyle | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | drxcode | 48% | 89 |
| #3 | Apache | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | BeanNess | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kooyle | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | drxcode | 48% | 89 |
| #3 | Apache | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | BeanNess | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeanNess | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Apache | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | drxcode | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apache | 183 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | drxcode | 168 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | BeanNess | 150 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kooyle | 39 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeanNess | +0.56 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | drxcode | +0.09 | 66 | 55 |
| #3 | Apache | -0.87 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | King Willy | -1.35 | 72 | 44 |
| #5 | Kooyle | -1.52 | 15 | 28 |





