








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 292 | 14% |
| Smokes | 252 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 843 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,073 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm Smurfing | 50% | 64 |
| #2 | Destroyer | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | Gooch | 43% | 139 |
| #4 | Off The Blinkin Park | 41% | 80 |
| #5 | Luke | 38% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gooch | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Off The Blinkin Park | 12 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | I'm Smurfing | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Luke | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Destroyer | 4 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 224 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gooch | 132 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | I'm Smurfing | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Destroyer | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Off The Blinkin Park | 41 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Destroyer | +5.92 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | I'm Smurfing | +5.33 | 72 | 49 |
| #3 | Azez | +0.76 | 58 | 33 |
| #4 | Gooch | -0.83 | 55 | 41 |
| #5 | Luke | -1.31 | 52 | 53 |





