








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 692 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9068 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8260 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7291 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6069 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,018 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sappy | 66% | 61 |
| #2 | ✪xrii | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | Pizoler | 52% | 229 |
| #4 | Greenzombie | 51% | 478 |
| #5 | Sgt. Relice | 50% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sgt. Relice | 50% | 115 |
| #6 | TheJanzap | 47% | 45 |
| #7 | シス | 44% | 45 |
| #8 | UME Nero⛟ | 43% | 105 |
| #9 | sw3Dreams | 41% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greenzombie | 71 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Pizoler | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | sw3Dreams | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | シス | 12 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | Sgt. Relice | 10 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greenzombie | 1360 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #2 | Pizoler | 382 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | UME Nero⛟ | 295 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sgt. Relice | 266 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sappy | 153 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sappy | +2.43 | 77 | 50 |
| #2 | Greenzombie | +1.60 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | ✪xrii | +1.48 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | Samu | +0.88 | 83 | 62 |
| #5 | Pizoler | +0.28 | 54 | 67 |





