










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
37 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 40 | 33% |
| Smokes | 30 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 26 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $29,900 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir DigbychickenCaesar | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | The Replicant | 0% | 2 |
| #3 | Zecatch | 0% | 3 |
| #4 | GSTK | 0% | 4 |
| #5 | Rizzo | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | The Replicant | 0% | 2 |
| #3 | Zecatch | 0% | 3 |
| #4 | GSTK | 0% | 4 |
| #5 | Rizzo | 0% | 5 |
| #6 | 2kTalos_ | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizzo | 1 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | 2kTalos_ | 1 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Sir DigbychickenCaesar | 1 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GSTK | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #2 | 2kTalos_ | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Zecatch | 10 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | Rizzo | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Sir DigbychickenCaesar | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GSTK | +3.03 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | The Replicant | +0.68 | 73 | 39 |
| #3 | Rizzo | -1.25 | 41 | 43 |
| #4 | Zecatch | -1.42 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | 2kTalos_ | -3.00 | 42 | 52 |





