








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 285 | 34% |
| Smokes | 102 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 224 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 223 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,211 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smudge926 | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | 80HD | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Phillyc | 38% | 40 |
| #4 | Dr. Shrimp Puerto Rico | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Spoods | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Phillyc | 38% | 40 |
| #4 | Dr. Shrimp Puerto Rico | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Spoods | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | Lapisblu | 33% | 12 |
| #7 | sohhber | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 80HD | 7 | 0.0257 |
| #2 | sohhber | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Dr. Shrimp Puerto Rico | 2 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillyc | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lapisblu | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | Spoods | 16 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | 80HD | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | sohhber | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smudge926 | +10.32 | 84 | 20 |
| #2 | 80HD | +9.17 | 96 | 52 |
| #3 | Dr. Shrimp Puerto Rico | +4.27 | 59 | 18 |
| #4 | Lapisblu | +1.92 | 46 | 51 |
| #5 | Spoods | +1.06 | 71 | 25 |





