








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1193 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1407 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1087 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 558 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,889 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 531 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senault | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | kroyski | 60% | 244 |
| #3 | hkdookie | 59% | 228 |
| #4 | Raspberry | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | ScratchNSniff | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senault | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | kroyski | 60% | 244 |
| #3 | hkdookie | 59% | 228 |
| #4 | Raspberry | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | ScratchNSniff | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hkdookie | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Raspberry | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Senault | 7 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | kroyski | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ScratchNSniff | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hkdookie | 619 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | kroyski | 214 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Raspberry | 193 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Senault | 124 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | ScratchNSniff | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kroyski | +3.77 | 92 | 47 |
| #2 | berniej | +1.75 | 78 | 46 |
| #3 | hkdookie | +0.13 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | Senault | -2.15 | 42 | 52 |
| #5 | Raspberry | -2.68 | 65 | 41 |





