








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2658 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2600 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4108 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,985,209 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HelleForHelvede | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Ɇpiȼ | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ThatDeagleGuy | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | HanneFraHR | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | thegreengamer | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HanneFraHR | 549 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | HelleForHelvede | 344 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ɇpiȼ | 279 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | thegreengamer | 233 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | ThatDeagleGuy | 222 | 0.06 | 6 min |





