








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 657 | 16% |
| Smokes | 952 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1265 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1244 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,771 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sue Sheff | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Stephano the great | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | hasn | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Jen Aralslanda | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | Wally | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Wally | 47% | 58 |
| #6 | ErnieT | 44% | 62 |
| #7 | Texas Red | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | Megocco | 41% | 27 |
| #9 | MBoodhoo | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jen Aralslanda | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | ErnieT | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Stephano the great | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Wally | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | MBoodhoo | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jen Aralslanda | 152 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sue Sheff | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wally | 29 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Megocco | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | ErnieT | 22 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cow | +3.09 | 64 | 54 |
| #2 | Sue Sheff | +1.46 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | Jen Aralslanda | -0.59 | 56 | 51 |
| #4 | MBoodhoo | -0.69 | 34 | 35 |
| #5 | ErnieT | -1.58 | 25 | 9 |





