








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3495 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2914 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2644 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2630 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,021 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob the destroyer | 51% | 45 |
| #2 | ᵒᵏ moreira | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | cato | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob the destroyer | 51% | 45 |
| #2 | ᵒᵏ moreira | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | cato | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵒᵏ moreira | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | bob the destroyer | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cato | 71 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | ᵒᵏ moreira | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | bob the destroyer | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joão | +2.16 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | bob the destroyer | -1.64 | 57 | 46 |
| #3 | ᵒᵏ moreira | -1.72 | 57 | 52 |
| #4 | cato | -1.79 | 34 | 66 |





