








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2071 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1079 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1010 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1268 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,178 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 981 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pornodemon | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Meth48 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Simo_Quali | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | deker | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | shommi | $$$ | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meth48 | 254 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | pornodemon | 196 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Simo_Quali | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | boorgir | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | fff | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simo | +2.39 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | pornodemon | +2.08 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | Meth48 | +1.03 | 86 | 56 |
| #4 | Rev3r | +0.69 | 79 | 59 |
| #5 | shommi | $$$ | +0.68 | 74 | 64 |





