








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 890 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 757 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7047 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6776 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6101 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6322 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,736,241 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeneTheThird | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | Awppenheimer | 53% | 73 |
| #3 | Thomalight | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | Rusty | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Kaido | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Awppenheimer | 53% | 73 |
| #3 | Thomalight | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | Rusty | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Kaido | 48% | 73 |
| #6 | HENDOxo | 48% | 555 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HENDOxo | 25 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | NeneTheThird | 13 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Rusty | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Thomalight | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Awppenheimer | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HENDOxo | 508 | 0.04 | 13 min |
| #2 | Thomalight | 367 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | Rusty | 240 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kaido | 151 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | NeneTheThird | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeneTheThird | +1.44 | 79 | 39 |
| #2 | Kaido | +0.40 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Meldum | +0.36 | 45 | 57 |
| #4 | HENDOxo | +0.15 | 73 | 53 |
| #5 | Awppenheimer | -0.48 | 63 | 52 |





