








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 784 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2465 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2470 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1629 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,806,642 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disquoveri | 61% | 61 |
| #2 | EkiTz | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | sh4p | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | tyg - flygresor.se | 52% | 94 |
| #5 | HillD | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Steel Neil | 39% | 94 |
| #16 | Gundalf | 39% | 44 |
| #17 | Anita Onsta Donk | 38% | 29 |
| #18 | Toad ⛱🐸 | 38% | 24 |
| #19 | s n e s a | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steel Neil | 316 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | disquoveri | 302 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | tyg - flygresor.se | 214 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | LEC | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Niia | 115 | 0.06 | 4 min |





