








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1774 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2119 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1316 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,669,314 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EkiTz | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Anita Onsta Donk | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | TraX | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | ANKA | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | disquoveri | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | HillD | 38% | 80 |
| #13 | Steel Neil | 37% | 68 |
| #14 | sh4p | 36% | 44 |
| #15 | s n e s a | 32% | 31 |
| #16 | Alling | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimdawg | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Niia | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | tyg - flygresor.se | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ANKA | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | TraX | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disquoveri | 366 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | Steel Neil | 230 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | tyg - flygresor.se | 197 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | HillD | 169 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Grimdawg | 167 | 0.05 | 4 min |





