










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 449 | 47% |
| Smokes | 289 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 34 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 179 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,450 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198054591324 | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Soapy | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | SnowyDon | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | Captain Cardboard | 32% | 19 |
| #5 | DEMuDANO | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198054591324 | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Soapy | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | SnowyDon | 33% | 9 |
| #4 | Captain Cardboard | 32% | 19 |
| #5 | DEMuDANO | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Cardboard | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | SnowyDon | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | 76561198054591324 | 1 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Soapy | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEMuDANO | 89 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Captain Cardboard | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | SnowyDon | 33 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | 76561198054591324 | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Soapy | 14 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198054591324 | +5.74 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | Captain Cardboard | +0.99 | 79 | 51 |
| #3 | SnowyDon | +0.44 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | DEMuDANO | -0.70 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | Sleepy | -3.93 | 48 | 65 |





