








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2951 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2177 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 969 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1874 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $198,675 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exile,? | 76% | 34 |
| #2 | freddy_bizness | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | 1010w | 71% | 35 |
| #4 | Reshad Rahman | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | babyzera | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exile,? | 76% | 34 |
| #2 | freddy_bizness | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | 1010w | 71% | 35 |
| #4 | Reshad Rahman | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | babyzera | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exile,? | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | 1010w | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | freddy_bizness | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freddy_bizness | 102 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | 1010w | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Reshad Rahman | 59 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | exile,? | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | babyzera | 22 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exile,? | +4.40 | 91 | 56 |
| #2 | freddy_bizness | +4.11 | 93 | 71 |
| #3 | chunkynuts | +3.05 | 81 | 74 |
| #4 | Reshad Rahman | +2.42 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | babyzera | -0.80 | 77 | 56 |





