








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2026 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1731 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2258 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2384 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,851,529 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jk | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | BAKA | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | hoffy | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | ThiccWicc | 52% | 92 |
| #5 | jinx | 46% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mole | 22 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | ThiccWicc | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | BAKA | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | hoffy | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | jk | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jinx | 144 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | hoffy | 130 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | ThiccWicc | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mole | 90 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | jk | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jk | +4.70 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | BAKA | +1.95 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | hoffy | +1.10 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | ThiccWicc | +0.64 | 60 | 40 |
| #5 | jinx | +0.64 | 36 | 49 |





