








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 128 | 29% |
| Smokes | 34 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 185 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,052 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rice | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | scump23 | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | AnkleBiter | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Agent York | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Toph | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AnkleBiter | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Agent York | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Toph | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | DESTIINY | 23% | 13 |
| #7 | [A51]Crusaderâ„¢ | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DESTIINY | 8 | 0.0321 |
| #2 | Agent York | 6 | 0.0588 |
| #3 | AnkleBiter | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Toph | 1 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | [A51]Crusaderâ„¢ | 1 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agent York | 19 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #2 | rice | 9 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #3 | [A51]Crusaderâ„¢ | 8 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | DESTIINY | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | scump23 | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scump23 | +6.94 | 65 | 29 |
| #2 | [A51]Crusaderâ„¢ | +5.28 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | rice | +0.63 | 61 | 44 |
| #4 | David Fry | -0.17 | 13 | 29 |
| #5 | Agent York | -2.16 | 17 | 21 |





