








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 296 | 30% |
| Smokes | 238 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 243 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 219 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,200 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Agent York | 63% | 16 |
| #10 | DESTIINY | 58% | 12 |
| #11 | AnkleBiter | 56% | 9 |
| #12 | WalkerTheKid | 50% | 6 |
| #13 | David Fry | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agent York | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | DaNger Joe | 20 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | scump23 | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Gerber | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | izzyofdoom | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [A51]Crusader™ | +7.50 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | scump23 | +5.79 | 90 | 40 |
| #3 | Gerber | +2.36 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | DaNger Joe | +2.11 | 60 | 45 |
| #5 | DESTIINY | +1.72 | 77 | 14 |





