








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9 | 6% |
| Smokes | 56 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 43 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 43 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,077 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El_Snenso | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Plupf | 36% | 14 |
| #3 | KingwingTV | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | † Vape † | 27% | 11 |
| #5 | fml | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plupf | 64 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bud Spencer | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | † Vape † | 28 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Julius el Cäso | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sir Daxwell | 21 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomas Brezina | +3.96 | 49 | 48 |
| #2 | Plupf | +2.49 | 63 | 73 |
| #3 | Mr. Poopybutthole | +1.53 | 63 | 7 |
| #4 | El_Snenso | +0.58 | 72 | 13 |
| #5 | Sir Daxwell | -0.27 | 50 | 50 |





