








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 92 | 27% |
| Smokes | 28 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 122 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $77,050 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Icekitty | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | QuasarGT | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | nameless | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Ahren ߷ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuasarGT | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | nameless | 1 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 1 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MdyBrrr | 65 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | QuasarGT | 42 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | nameless | 25 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Icekitty | 13 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ahren ߷ | 12 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crenux | +8.58 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | QuasarGT | +5.52 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | MdyBrrr | +3.33 | 92 | 42 |
| #4 | YUNGPHOENIX | +2.79 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | nameless | +0.53 | 86 | 38 |





