








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 35 | 12% |
| Smokes | 102 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 81 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 82 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $14,659 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aplolas | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Unhinged Joe | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | umglub | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Le_Piss the slyslayer | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Le_Piss ReallyCrispy | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le_Piss the slyslayer | 6 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | Le_Piss ReallyCrispy | 4 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Jerry | 2 | 0.0180 |
| #4 | Aplolas | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le_Piss the slyslayer | 26 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | Le_Piss ReallyCrispy | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jerry | 23 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #4 | Aplolas | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jordon please do something | 5 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerry | +5.34 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | umglub | +4.56 | 69 | 54 |
| #3 | Unhinged Joe | +4.51 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | Le_Piss ReallyCrispy | +1.83 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | Le_Piss the slyslayer | +1.82 | 48 | 35 |





