








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3045 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2068 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1618 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,005 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | React | 14 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Wiggles | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Le_Piss ReallyCrispy | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | mortimus prime | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | React | 379 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Wiggles | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Le_Piss ReallyCrispy | 65 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chrisbeast | 55 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Uvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Osas | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiggles | +4.91 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | Jerry | +3.48 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | Uvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Osas | +2.75 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | React | -0.28 | 60 | 54 |
| #5 | Le_Piss ReallyCrispy | -0.59 | 51 | 50 |





