








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2262 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3812 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3175 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3085 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,405 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snox | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | fabio | 43% | 69 |
| #3 | *wHo` | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | Zehr0 | 33% | 21 |
| #5 | Schwabi | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snox | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | fabio | 43% | 69 |
| #3 | *wHo` | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | Zehr0 | 33% | 21 |
| #5 | Schwabi | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snox | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | *wHo` | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Schwabi | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Zehr0 | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabio | 103 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Snox | 103 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | *wHo` | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zehr0 | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Schwabi | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snox | +0.49 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | fabio | +0.16 | 39 | 59 |
| #3 | Zehr0 | -0.03 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | Schwabi | -0.54 | 59 | 75 |
| #5 | CØATARTS™ | Designer | -1.12 | 48 | 57 |





