








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 867 | 22% |
| Smokes | 880 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 903 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1213 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,553 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buu ツ | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | risk ツ | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | k1LLu | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | wheeezyy_ | 42% | 101 |
| #5 | cuerno de chivo | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | risk ツ | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | k1LLu | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | wheeezyy_ | 42% | 101 |
| #5 | cuerno de chivo | 38% | 21 |
| #6 | Beta Life GmbH | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buu ツ | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | wheeezyy_ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | k1LLu | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | risk ツ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Beta Life GmbH | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buu ツ | 174 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | k1LLu | 104 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | wheeezyy_ | 90 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | cuerno de chivo | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Beta Life GmbH | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴰᴱᴹᴼᴺメDenno | +1.41 | 69 | 48 |
| #2 | Buu ツ | +1.14 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | Beta Life GmbH | -0.03 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | k1LLu | -0.62 | 47 | 76 |
| #5 | cuerno de chivo | -0.73 | 43 | 61 |





