








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Wingman | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3596 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4570 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3633 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2768 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,747,374 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 474 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stegeuss | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | k1LLu | 46% | 239 |
| #3 | Locke37 | 43% | 61 |
| #4 | Morpheus234 | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stegeuss | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | k1LLu | 46% | 239 |
| #3 | Locke37 | 43% | 61 |
| #4 | Morpheus234 | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1LLu | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Morpheus234 | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1LLu | 407 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | Stegeuss | 93 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Locke37 | 87 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Morpheus234 | 13 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morpheus234 | +1.28 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | Stegeuss | +1.06 | 45 | 67 |
| #3 | cuerno de chivo | +0.42 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | k1LLu | -0.31 | 49 | 72 |
| #5 | Locke37 | -0.76 | 85 | 61 |





