








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4888 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3808 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2428 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2892 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,338,521 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reaper | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | crames_ | 67% | 73 |
| #3 | DanielS | 66% | 47 |
| #4 | Kranoli | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | 2013 KennyT | 61% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EScotty | 28 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Colbee | 18 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | yurple fanna drinker | 17 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | 2013 KennyT | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | crames_ | 11 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yurple fanna drinker | 476 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | DanielS | 464 | 0.46 | 14 min |
| #3 | EScotty | 421 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | 2013 KennyT | 399 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Colbee | 303 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2013 KennyT | +4.18 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | Bankey21 | +2.33 | 78 | 72 |
| #3 | Reaper | +2.06 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | crames_ | +1.25 | 78 | 70 |
| #5 | yurple fanna drinker | +0.62 | 55 | 48 |





