








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 688 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2447 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1488 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1848 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2211 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,247,708 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 626 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crames_ | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | Reaper | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | 2013 KennyT | 58% | 138 |
| #4 | Bankey21 | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | SethP | 52% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 2013 KennyT | 58% | 138 |
| #4 | Bankey21 | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | SethP | 52% | 195 |
| #6 | yurple fanna drinker | 50% | 103 |
| #7 | Colbee | 47% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SethP | 39 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Colbee | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | yurple fanna drinker | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | 2013 KennyT | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | crames_ | 9 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SethP | 725 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | Colbee | 359 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | yurple fanna drinker | 283 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | 2013 KennyT | 254 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | crames_ | 235 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2013 KennyT | +4.19 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Bankey21 | +4.12 | 80 | 75 |
| #3 | Reaper | +2.39 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | crames_ | +1.86 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | EScotty | +0.75 | 87 | 52 |





